all i want for chrithmath.

Every year around November 1st I start to get the little Christmas feva. Don't judge... I know that's almost a 2-month's advancement on the excitement, but frankly I don't give a damn. There's nothing like a little Silver Bells blaring through my speakers on a Monday morning commute. But what's really precious is Korn's rendition of Jingle Bells which they appropriately renamed Jingle Balls. Nice. In it, the "singer" screams to the high heavens about jingling balls... or at least that's what I get from all of the rawr's and blaaaaaaaahhh's that come out of that guy's mouth. There might be a falala here and there; hell if I know. Seriously, he's gonna be one hellapissed monkey when he's 64 with only a few shreds of his vocal folds left. Aaaaand that's my musical soap box.

Along with the whole holiday music thing (and Josh Groban's months in the spotlight--bless his heart) comes CHRISTMAS LISTS! Ohhh yeah. Who didn't rifle through the JC Penney Christmas edish catalogue when they were 8, picking out the year's best toys and games? Not me. I was practically drooling when that beast came in the mail. I would spend hours in the middle of the living room floor with my list growing exponentially as I turned each page. I'm not even embarrassed to admit that. I'm also not embarrassed to admit that I was a little heartbroken this year to learn the JCP has discontinued their gargantuan catalogues. I mean, for my nieces' sake and stuff...

This year I looked back on my Christmas list and realized a couple of things. 1. I'm 23 and still making a list. <--nottadamnthing wrong with that, 2. Most of my options say "[insert thing] or money for [insert thing]" and 3. I'm turning into my mom. <--also nothing wrong with that since my mom happens to exceed my own awesomeness twenty-fold. Seriously, she's a star.

But really, all I want for Christmas is listed below:

1. A mega snuggle sesh. <--ahem, K.O. that's for you.
2. Peace on Earth.
3. For George and Stella to suddenly lose their claws.
4. A coffee grinder.
5. More bestie time.

royal news.

Heavens. It's December 20th and the only post I've managed to crank out this month is a pathetic blurb on peanut butter. Really? That's the best I've got? Ha.

This morning I rose-and-shined to a lovely new Monday, just full of promise and hope. Or whatever. I'm not exactly one of those bright-eyed and bushy-tailed morning risers that some people are annoying enough to be. I'm more of a late morning, late evening kind of lady. Who isn't? Anyway, I wrestled George out of my spot in the shower, jumped in and out, then turned on the news for a little background noise while I got ready. Let me begin by saying that I watch the news strictly for entertainment purposes. I rarely believe a damn thing they say, particularly when it comes to the traffic people, but I still watch it because some of their stories are real zingers. This morning's news came of no disappointment to my funny bone. Are you ready for it? William and Kate, the new and adorable royal couple (of 8 years...), released their first OFFICIAL wedding merch! Oh shit's about to get real now. If you rrrrreally want to be a gentleman, surprise your lady with a plate featuring WillKate. I really can't think of a better gift than someone else's face shining through your curio cabinet compliments of a shitty piece of porcelain and some third-world labor. Ah yes, happy holidays. Thank GOODness these were released before Christmas is all I'm saying! And I was worried I wouldn't be able to find something nice for my mom.

Anyway, in other royal-related news, it appears Justin Bieber has a little lady friend which is getting everyone's panties in a twist. And why shouldn't it? A still-pre-pubescent 16-year-old snags a hotter, older 18-year-old 2x4-figured babe? Juicy gossip if you ask me. Rumor has it they've been seen skipping down the street together, giggling and singing harmonies, and J.Bieb has EVEN put his arm around her. Wow. If that's not news, I don't know what is. Really. Honestly. Come on. I guess newsies are calling him The Biebs now. I should really get with it.

In other other news... I walked into the office this morning, did the routine rounds of "Morning, how was your weekend?" and got the standard back: "It was good. How was yours? How was your trip? How was the weather?" Except for my bossman: "My weekend was epic. I just skied the two best powder days of my life at Breck. You missed it. It just dumped." Meh, I'll have other powder days, just you wait.

And the best news of all: Jack Black is starring in a new-age Gulliver's Travels movie. I smell a flop.

pb.

Today I found myself dipping pretzel-covered peanut butter bites in a jar of peanut butter after having eaten a peanut butter cookie and a spoonful of plain peanut butter. For breakfast I had a spoonful of peanut butter and honey and tonight I'm planning on eating an English muffin with peanut butter and jelly. I also ate a tuna pack.

I won't consider this a problem until I start eating chalk.