take a second.

This week I had my "official" admissions interview with my graduate program. Even though I've already technically been accepted, I've had to jump through a couple of hoops to make it the real real deal. I can understand why they do this, particularly with a Counseling program. They need to make sure they're not sending a bunch of quacks through a program that is designed to assist people with their mental and behavioral stability. Seems reasonable.

So today I was thinking to myself, SELF: You are who you are because of what you allow yourself to be. I think this was formulated in part after reading an uplifting letter of recommendation written by a former supervisor and long-time friend, but also just through some self-reflection. I can be peaceful, content and excited about my life because that's what I allow. I can be miserable, dodgy and regretful because that's what I allow. Why in the WORLD would I want to be the latter? For every action or thought, there is motivation and reason driving it: Why do I go to the gym? Because it makes me feel better and, according to the gym owner, "It's all about the LGN, baby!" Looking Good Naked. Duh. What kind of attitude should I bring to work today? Positive, light, low-stress, determined. My business is fast-paced, relatively high-stress and can be very negative; basically, I have no interest in allowing those things to infiltrate ME so deciding how to counter it is another thing I allow.

I digress . . . Every now and then it's a good idea to look in the mirror. Don't just glance; LOOK. Look at what your eyes tell you. Do they dance or are they sad? Look at the lines and the freckles. Are they there from laughing in the sun after a long hike or did they come from staring at a computer all day, stressing out about which spreadsheet should be sent to whom first. (Yuck.) And finally, allow yourself a smile. It's both to you and from you and will be more rewarding than you think. Aaaaaaand GO.

P.S. Today is my Grams' 75th birthday! Since I can't be there, I'm sending her lots and lots of love energies. She's amazing.

bum knees.

My weekend ended up being pretty disastrous. Almost to the point of being comical. Almost. As I had mentioned yesterday, my ski plans got botched thanks to a little screw in the road. So I came home and caught up on a little sleep (while still wearing my ski pants . . . ), then headed out to get the tire repaired. An hour later I came back home with the same screw in the same tire because the places were too busy. My roommate is taking the car in today to get the tire fixed. Bless him.

Well, next I chatted my fiance's face off for a bit, then decided to get out of the house and go for a run. I had every intention of making it a 10-miler and felt amazing when I started out. You know that feeling when your gait is perfect, your lungs feel like you're breathing air sent from Heaven, and you think your legs can last a millenium? That was me yesterday. Soooo off I went, into the country and feeling great. Around mile five, I got deep into a thought about Stuffed vs. Double Stuffed Oreos (not kidding) and . . . next thing I know, I'd tripped on a rock and was skidding across a dirt/gravel track on my hands and knees. For the record, this is about the fourth time I've done this and was by far the worst. I got up and tried to catch my breath among the ensuing sobs. When I fall, I don't allow myself any pity so sitting on the ground and crying is definitely not an option. Looking down, my left knee was completely open (gross) and my right was completely skinned, not to mention my right palm having a significant amount of damage. My left hand was saved thanks to the water bottle I was holding. Super. 

I walked a mile home, shivering from the setting sun and holding back tears as best I could. The thing that bothered me most out of all this was that no one, not one single person, stopped to ask if I was OK. I mean, I wasn't exactly approachable: twenty-something woman wearing neon clothes, blood running down my legs and sweaty, mascara-y tears running down my cheeks, lip pouting almost to the ground . . . but COME ON PEOPLE! It's the holidays! Season of perpetual hope? (Home Alone, anyone?) Anyway, here's what my poor knees look like today. I mostly wanted to include this picture because of my super sexy stockings. Maybe I need a new hobby. I'm sure knitting or painting are nice.

Needless to say, I didn't get much done last night, save a few hours of sleep in the couch (literally, in the couch because that thing just gobbles you up). When my roommate and his brother got home he said, "Wow, you look pale." Nothing like boosting the old self-esteem! Oh well, that's life and as long as I live to see another day, I'm one happy camper.

"We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers

hmmm.

Some things are a blessing in disguise, but I've yet to decide what the blessing is . . . in hitting a screw on the highway and having to cancel my impromptu ski trip today. Who knows? Maybe the snow would have been terrible and I would have busted up my new planks. I bet that's what would have happened . . . and God was just looking out for me and stuff.

But I was all set up in my purple pants and Dave tee! Bummer.

I think I'll keep them on for awhile, at least to nap in them or something really super productive like that. Life is like that sometimes. :) But you know what? I'll have MONTHS and YEARS to ski and what's best is that I only have a month to wait until I can ski with my best friend. Until then, I'll have Loving Wings to listen to and the always delightful but not always tasteful Mr. George to keep me company . . .

 

 'Cause love can feel like it saves your life, you know. More than food; like water.

-Dave Matthews

a little token of appreciation.

One of my clients--and I should probably admit that he's one of my favorites--brought this in for me today!

Yesterday he called and said, "I have something for you! I will bring it tomorrow." I told him to be sure to ask for me so that I could come out front and talk to him, but sadly I was in a meeting when he came by. I was SO excited to get this! It helps to know that my work doesn't always go unnoticed, especially by the people I'm serving. I haven't been able to get ahold of him yet but CAN'T WAIT to tell him thank you!

turkey plans.

This is the first Thanksgiving I'll be spending away from family and you know what? I'm OK with it. It's amazing how things shift in only a short amount of time.

The past two years I'd been living in Denver and went home to Nebraska to spend Thanksgiving with family.

Prior to that, college . . . high school . . . grade school . . . you get my point.

This year I'll be home in New Mexico with friends. I have so much for which to be thankful, namely my favorite person in the world who's spending his Thanksgiving overseas. I feel fortunate because of the network of support among military families. Tomorrow we're going to my friend's house to have dinner with her family--her husband also happens to be in charge of my roommate's flight--then, since one dinner isn't enough, we're going over to some other friends' house for a multi-family potluck complete with two turkeys, a ham and so many side dishes we're all going to pop. I'm pretty sure the message from the host last night was: It's probably a good thing we'll have two turkeys because the first one might get botched depending on how much I have to drink . . . or something like that. So, wish us luck?

“We can choose to enjoy the magic of this time of year. We may not always get to choose the people and circumstances around us, but we always have a choice about how we relate to them.” - Mike Robbins

I have a feeling this year will be just fine.

weekend recap.

These past couple of days have been a little tricky in the ol' emo department. I think it's the holidays. Although it's supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year," I've just been a little funky. Usually the best way for me to get out of any sort of rut is to exercise. I let that treadmill have it. Yesterday I totally did--I put in a hot little playlist my brother made me and ran like it was nobody's biz. Then I hit the weights, having no real agenda but legs. Well somewhere in between a workout high and watching the sweat hit the floor, I forgot to drink water. I've done smarter things. So after a quick sip of aguas and parking it on a bench for a few minutes, I was feeling much better.

Another mind over matter . . . or matter over mind, in this case . . . thing is to keep myself really busy. And truly, this is helpful for any type of thing. Over the weekend I did just that and gosh darnit! I'm proud of myself. :)

First, I spent some time on wedding things. Details details details. I love it. Mostly I perused flowers . . . one of my most favorite things. Miss Stella Bug was there to provide her valuable insight:



Next, I did some, um, mending? to the disastrous fence. In theory my idea was nothing short of golden, but in practice I think it could use a little help. I did, however, get kudos from my roommate. He was checking it out yesterday and said that even though it looks pretty dumb, it actually works. Of course it works, silly. But like I said, it looks kiiiiiiiinda dumb (there are also stakes on the back side to balance the weight):

And finally, I committed to some room improvements. A little over two months ago, we bought some paint for the bathroom and bedroom and while we painted the bathroom that very night, the bedroom went untouched . . . until Sunday. I finally busted out the Fire on the Mountain paint and let the wall have it. While it's pretty loud, it's actually quite lovely. This picture doesn't really do it justice:

And look at that, I'm already feeling better. (And I just realized I put the pillows on the bed upside down . . . did anyone else notice this!? I've never noticed the difference! Oops.) There's a lot to be thankful for in this world and my ability to complete projects like this definitely is one of them. (Insert sorority voice) Snaps for a busy weekend!

holy wind.

Oh my heavens. I just got back from one of the most ridiculous runs of my life. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but running into a 30 mph headwind isn't exactly my idea of a fun run. Amidst the wind, I was dodging tumble weeds and trying to run with my mouth closed so the dust wouldn't coat my teeth. Yummy. What I set out to be an 8+-miler ended up being barely 6. Booooo. Regardless, I'm still sitting here watching Neb play the Wolverines (currently losing . . . wake UP Huskers!!) and drinking my delicious banana chocolate protein smoothie to help my muscles recover. Mmm.

It's amazing the funny looks people give runners. It's this "ohhh myyy gaaaad!" and "what the devil does she think she's doing over there?" and "I secretly hope she falls on her face because it will make me feel better about sitting on my porch and watching her run by" kind of look. Lots and lots of rubber necks. I think anyone who runs understands what I mean. Either that, or it's the fact that I live in near-West Texas and the concept of exercise is hard-pressed for the majority of the inhabitants.

This is basically what I see when I'm out in New West Texico. This, tumble weeds and pickups. For the record, I'm not complaining. I love living in new places and figuring out all the quirks.

Confession: I have this undying urge to high five any other runner, walker or biker that I see when I'm out doing my thing. I just get really excited when I come across other outdoor/exercise enthusiasts and want to be both encouraging and, naturally, the best of friends (because friendships start with high fives?). Plus, how awesome are high fives from a really happy stranger? Not sure what anyone else thinks, but I love them! The only deterrant is that a lot of people won't look you in the eye or even, much to my disdain, will cross the street if they see someone coming their direction in order to avoid any social contact. That's just awkward, people. And unnecessary. I think I'll make it a new goal to give out high fives during my next run. Just because I can.