Well last week was just a real treat. I don't even know where to start... how about with Wednesday? After a long day at work, there really isn't anything I'd rather be doing than drinking and trying to balance on a two-wheeler up and down the streets of Denva. Can you blame me? So naturally I packed up my Crown and Diet, loaded my bikes on my supersweet bike rack that I've become too lazy to actually take off my car when I'm not using it (priorities people), and headed for my friend's apartment for a little night of debauchery.
We spent a good... 10 minutes... figuring out our outfits for the night [mine was a combination of an old Scarlet and Cream outfit (word to my screamers), duct tape and bubble wrap]. It was so effing hot I thought my bubble wrap headband was going to melt to my head. Imagine trying to explain that shit to my department in the morning... Anyway, after a few bumps in the road, a sing-a-long down the Cherry Creek Trail, and a few added friends, we made it to Braun's. I offered to buy the first pitcher as any lady should, so I set off for the bar upstairs. Well. Thirty minutes later I was still standing at the bar (literally leaning over it) staring at the mothereffing bartenders who apparently thought every single person around me was A. cuter and B. more important to serve drinks to. Assholes. So with a towel toss toward the bar, I gave up and went downstairs, only to run into... the Topless Cruiser, Boobs McGee! My night improved tenfold at that moment because the week before I had devised a plan for the next time I saw her. I needed to know what her motivation was, not to mention what she was on, and here was the response I got (after I snagged a picture of course--SCORE): "Ha, this musssst beee yerr firssst time at Cruisersss." Smug betch. So I snapped back, "Actually, no, I've Cruised before. I just want to know why you don't like to wear anything." That's all I could come up with..."Ehh well, I jussst like ta beee neked. Beforrre the end of the sssummerrr I'll beee like completely neked." Good. Problem solved.
So we cruised on to the the circle of death in which I did not partake due to the superior importance of A. the portable toilets, and B. a phone call (or what some people like to call drunkdials, whatever). After that was when my night made a little turn for the worst. We were riding down 20th to Wynkoop and what happens? I blow my back tire. Of course this happens to me, and in a sketchy neighborhood no less. So after some serious but failed Cruiser Rescue Efforts, I called a cab and booked it home. Oh and hey, the cab driver charged me an extra dollar for my bike... whatever. All in all, not a bad second round with the Cruisers, but this week I have nowhere to go but up. Theme: Rainbow Night. Yessss.
My weekend definitely turned around with a little visit from none other than the world's greatest lady... my mom. Despite a slapintheface of nasty weather, we managed to accomplish a few things. Highlights include:
1. Staying at a hotel with two rugby teams... and through the workout room window watching them walk around the pool puffing their chests, trying to out-man each other. I made it a point not to look because I don't believe in encouraging animalistic behavior (OK, that's kind of a lie), but it was too special not to watch.
2. MGMT concert at Red Rocks. Standing under a tiny red umbrella with two friends + mom while the sideways-angled rain mocked our feeble attempt at staying dry. At least I got to boog to an extended version of Electric Groove. That made it all worth it.
3. Trip with mama to Georgetown that ended in a little visit to a winery. Aaaaand a few tastings later, we walked out with enough wine to serve the Last Supper ten times over. Life is good.
4. Birthday dinner at Marrakesh. We mentioned to the waiter that we wanted to take our time with our meal, so each time he and/or the chef walked by they reminded us that there was "No rush, nice and slow, just take your time." I appreciated their enthusiasm for our request, but after the twentieth time someone tells you to take your time, it gets a little old. But regardless, the food was amazing, we downed even more wine, chatted like the little Kathy's we are, and three hours later fell into a cab and headed for the hotel in hot pursuit of a night cap.
5. Actually having to walk around Bed Bath and Beyond carrying a Shake Weight. I heard somewhere that they make lovely Father's Day gifts, so I thought I'd pick one up for my step-pops, naturally. I made it a point not to make eye contact with anyone even though I could feel their eyes burning through my left arm that was doing a half-ass job of covering up the damn weight. The good news is that he's gonna love it. Point: me.
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