i got my hair did.

My brother's getting married today and I had the unfortunate opportunity of waking up early and going into town to get my hair done. Woof. My sister and I rolled in around 9:15 and this place was bumpin. It's very possible that I was still a little d-town... like a lady... but I'm gonna stick with "hungover." Note to self: stop mixing wine and beer. Choose one and stick with it dammit. Anyway, Elli got swept away in the fog of hairspray by some too-much-pep-in-her-step little lady while I waited for my stylist. "And Mike will be right out to do your hair," says the receptionist. Immediately I was way snazzed about what was about to happen. Hot gay man to style my hair? Yes please. Having moved away from college, I've gone through a little drought of gay friends and lemmetellyou, I miss them mucho. Next thing I knew Mike came swishing around the corner and for a second I forgot about the nausea and got supa jazzed.

Mikey and I dove into convo, covering the basics: "Ooo you have a great hair color. This is your natural color?" "What kinds of things do you do for fun?" "Where are you from?" Blah blah blah. He was adorable and bless his heart, just couldn't seem to get my facts straight. For example...
"So when do you head back to Boston?"
"Oh, actually it's Denver... and Monday..."
"What do you do for fun in Denver?"
"There are a lot of parks so I spend time there, go out with friends, ski in the winter..."
"I didn't know there were mountains in Nebraska..."
"Ummm, nope, uh huh, OK..." (Real thoughts: Haaaaaahahaha oh shitballs this is going great.)

Just as I was getting ready to dive into love life questions, Mike started talking about his girlfriend. HOLD. THE. PHONE. Excuse me? Boy, there's not a hair out of place in those eyebrows and you're telling me you have a girlfriend? This completely redefined the term metrosexual for me. But to be honest, I don't believe him for a second. Lit'rally, five seconds before he laid down the gf-bomb, I was formulating the most PC way to ask what his boyfriend's name was. I mean, come on, he was gorg. I was even supa jeal of his hair and don't even get me started on those biceps. But I guess he's had a little ladyfriend for 3 years now. What I didn't say to him was this: OK honey, you can play your little games here, but you might want to just save your girly the identity crisis and let her go. But you know what? Maybe he was legit and really did lurv her. Who am I to judge? I'm just saying... coming from someone who may or may not have experience being on her side of the game, he'd probably rather kiss her brother. Boyfriend knows how to do some hairdo's. Mine's looking good.