veeball continued.

Tonight my 6's team is playing in the Championship tournament of our volleyball league.

I don't know if it's the Vuka talking or nerves talking, but . . .

I'm jazzed.

Our team captain sends out a weekly pep talk to pump us up and he's had some pretty bomb moments, comparing us to the likes of anything from an ice cream sundae to Mulan. Today it was puppies. I'm not sure how that ties in to anything, but I'm going with it.

Anyway, I thought I'd include an excerpt from one of my favorite pep talks. Enjoy . . .

Prior to yesterday, I knew nothing about our opponents; or should I say, enemies...



So I showed a little initiative and did some research. I must say, the results are disturbing. You may want to read this sitting down. (what? I always read standing)


I started out by using the best medium for this sort of information: the public library. After investing several grueling hours my time, my sweat and blood, I had to leave, with no results. So I took a bit of a risk and tried online sources like Facebook, linkedin, the wall street journal, and even wikipedia'd the bastards. After numerous dead ends, it was finally clear to me what needed to be done.


I went to my reliable street source (who wishes to remain anonymous). After a brief conversation involving more tears than when Shadow fell in the ditch in the all time classic, Homeward Bound, I returned home with a lump in my throat and an upset stomach.


I got home, vomited, and rocked back and forth for hours curled up in the corner of my room.


Luckily my mom found me later and helped comfort me while I tried to figure out if and how I should tell you guys what I learned.


I decided to tell you everything:


Here's a quick team bio:


• Their weakside hitter donates counterfeit money to Haitian children who lost their homes.


• Their middle hitter coats his grandparents' prescription bottles with a thin layer of crisco once a week and giggles inside at their misery.


• Their outside hitter is man so evil he drowns puppies and curses their ascending souls for pleasure.


• Their libero is an up and coming serial killer. I also heard that when she was younger she babysat the children next door and would eat all the marshmallows out of the lucky charms boxes while they slept. (gives me the chills)


• And worst of all, their setter watches American Idol. And laughs.


I don't have time to include the rest, but I think we've heard enough. Tonight is no longer about winning or losing. Tonight is about vengeance. Tonight is about making these monsters pay for their crimes against humanity!

Good stuff. We're gonna win tonight.