death eaters.

Do you ever have conversations with people who absolutely suck the life out of you?

I did today.

Wrapping up some things in my workstation, I was just getting ready to change for a much-needed yoga class. And let me just say that my yoga instructor is extra awesome because she focuses on the spiritually healing aspects of yoga as oppose to just making her students all bendy and inverted and stuff. She reads energies, so if everyone walks into the room thinking, "OK Shauna, let's do this, but please don't kick my ass today," she knows and will base her class off that energy. Call me crazy, but I like it.

Right when I was about to leap off my ball, my phone rang. And as the dutiful little lady that I am, I answered. Damn it.

It was one of our off-site employees who wanted to know about two of our policies. <--Two of our most difficult policies to explain, not to mention the two that piss people off the most. Mind you, he's one of these hyper-active, don'tf-ckingtalkwhileI'mtalking kinds of people. But here's the problem: I would be explaining something in the most precise wording I could muster and he would interrupt me with "Yeah I understand that, but..." or "Right, yeah, but..." or "So wait... ramblerambleramble." I'm 200% surprised that my head didn't explode. He ended the conversation by telling me that he's had a lot of illnesses in his life, but I wouldn't understand because he's not as old as me... which didn't make sense at all. "How old are you?" he asked me, patronizing my every cell. "I'm 23." Me. "Well I'm 62 so I've got a few years on you." You don't sayyyy.

When I finally hung up the phone, looked at the clock and realized that I'll go yet another week Shauna-less and much less enlightened, I put my head down and could feel the tears burning in my eyes, just daring me to blink them out. I envisioned myself as Harry Potter, which I often do, but this time I was getting the life sucked out of my by a real-life death eater. I always thought Harry should spray mace in their eye sockets or, better yet, jam a twinkie in their mouths when they come after him. Instant diversion.